Changing from Provider to Patient- one NP’s journey

I am writing a series called ‘Changing from Provider to Patient- one NP’s journey’. At one time or another, we have all been patients within the medical system. This is the fifth installment of my patient journey- follow up as I balance being a patient and leave my ‘provider hat’ at home.

Day 5:

And…..GOOD MORNING! or rather, good afternoon! Surgery has been completed and I wake up in Post-op recovery. Surgery took longer than the 1 hour that we were initially told, but Brett says that Dr. B told him the surgery went well!. I did well with anesthesia, but waking up from the medical slumber can be unnerving. Not knowing where you are, or when you figure that out, not knowing how long you’ve been knocked out is a difficult thought to wrap your woozy head around.

I have a nerve block to two of the major nerves in my left lower leg. The two catheters in the front of my thigh are pumping numbing medication to keep the post-op pain under control. Problem is…my leg feels like a rock, a REALLY BIG, HEAVY rock. So here’s the thing, I have a huge anxiety problem with my big toe. Little known fact, my big toe has to be touching something in order for it to feel normal. Either a bed sheet, a shoe, a sock or other tactile stimulation, otherwise I feel like it is the center of attention with makes me super uncomfortable. It has been this way since I was a kid. My dad used to tease me by saying ‘Big toe, big toe, big toe!’ in a fun-loving way until I covered it up. Well now, I can’t feel my big toe and even if I grab my toe, still not there!

I am wheeled to the lobby of the hospital and assisted into the truck. We are on the way home and now to rest. I have to give credit to Dr. B; the nerve block is taking care of the pain; I am hoping to use the prescription pain medication sparingly. We have set up a make-shift medical room and Brett has set up a perfect healing area. I have a side table with my Surface tablet, my Nintendo Switch, my cell phone and all the appropriate cables to plug into a small power inverter to keep me charged and occupied.

Now I have to admit, I am super SUPER worried about pain. The really unbelievable thing about my initial injury was the amount of pain was surprisingly bearable. I was able to find a comfortable way to lay my leg/foot in the ED to minimize the pain and after the splint was placed again able to prop my leg and foot to sleep with minimal pain. Now, the bones in my leg and ankle have been fused, I have metal plates and ties bringing all the fractured parts of the bones together. Am I going to be able to rest let alone sleep? Will I have uncontrolled pain?

Other worries that enter my thoughts as well as controlling my pain are constipation from needing pain medications and blood clots. I am so worried about getting blood clots; how will I know if I’m sleeping? Should I warn Brett or will that worry him more? I try to move my left leg around to prevent clots but the nerve block keeps me from moving the muscle in my lower leg effectively. I know the dangers of blood clots, the risk factor of a ‘recent long bone fracture’ and the complications of blood clots. I decide to keep watch for concerning symptoms and to try to get some sleep. Wish me luck!!