Changing from Provider to Patient- one NP’s journey

I am writing a series called ‘Changing from Provider to Patient- one NP’s journey’. At one time or another, we have all been patients within the medical system. This is the sixth installment of my patient journey- follow along as I balance being a patient and leave my ‘provider hat’ at home.

Day 7:

It is the seventh day since my injury and the day after my ORIF (open reduction internal fixation) of my left lower leg fractures. I have a nerve block to two of the major nerves of my lower legs to control pain after surgery. I have been able to get some rest with occasional use of oral pain medications. I’ll be keeping the nerve block pump in for the next 3 days or until the infusion is completed. Brett and I have been sleeping on the couch and love seats in our TV room; mostly because I can get into a comfortable position, but for Brett it is so he can be near me if I were to need assistance.

Brett is not ‘medical’ in any way, but he is a very hands-on kind of guy. One of the phrases that Brett has used in the past that our daughter Kelly and I giggle at is “I’m more of a PM (preventative maintenance) guy”. And anyone that has spent any amount of time with Brett knows, he loves to prevent issues before they are issues. I can’t tell you how many times we have left late for a road trip because Brett was making last-minute checks and changes.

All that being said, he could not be a better caregiver. He is not aware of what medication does what and I may need to explain why I need to increase my water intake while taking pain medications; but he has been very attentive to my physical and emotional needs as well aa making sure I am getting plenty of rest. He would not be a great nurse, but is an amazing husband.

When you are looking to find a mate, not only are you looking for someone that you are compatible with, but also someone who has your best interests at heart. Most wedding vows contain ‘for better or worse, for richer or poorer, in sickness and in health, until death do you part’. And while we are young and in love, we don’t think of the worse, poorer or sickness portion and definitely are not thinking the ‘death’ part. Most marriages start with that one person that you want to spend the rest of your life with. But again, we aren’t thinking about those years when we aren’t able to be an equal participant in the relationship.

I have found, through the help of my injury, that I have chosen the absolute perfect person to spend the rest of my days with. In the small amount of time that I have been physically dependent on another person to help me do the most basic tasks such as bathing, dressing and fixing my meals, I have seen into the future. This injury has been more involved than when I was quarantined during COVID and Brett’s caretaking has been reassuring and soothing. I have had trouble letting go of control, I feel I should help in order to not be a burden. But Brett has been able to help me let go of the need for control and allow him to care for me.

Being a healthcare provider, this is what defines me! I ‘care’ for people, I care for their health. Now I am dependent for my care on this person I adore. My entire being is made up of caring for others; my love language in my marriage is ‘doing’ things for Brett to show my love, whether it be cooking dinner or picking up one of his favorite drinks when I go to the store. By not being able to ‘DO’ things, I find myself feeling inadequate, therefore trying to do for myself.

My fracture is on the way to healing, but the best part of this process is knowing that my partner in life will care for me ‘for richer or poorer, for better and worse, in sickness and health until death do us part’. Thank you, Brett, for being the absolute best husband and nurse in the world!